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I’m a feminist and proud of it… mostly

Let’s just laugh at the fact that two weeks ago, I said I’d post a post a week, but could not do it for the VERY FIRST WEEK!
But whatever, let’s get to the subject!

I am a feminist. Well, you would kind of expect it with my mother being the stubborn woman she is, and having a sister and no brother, thus making the family female-dominant! And not only in the “near-circle” of the family, but I also have only female cousins. But still, most of the women in my family aren’t feminist, and it is quite evident to me, mostly because they accept and ignore everyday sexism. They surely are strong women who would call you on your bullshit (well, not all of them, but my mother in particular. Stubborn, she is) but not there to call on everyone’s bullshit, even if they concern other people then them.
What I mean about this, is that they would not really get angry at someone for being sexist for a joke, or even to someone else. They just wouldn’t care, as it doesn’t touch them directly. Mostly saying it’s not their businness. This could be seen as egocentrical, but in fact, it is not: it is just the fact thst they were educated this way,  to not see some injustices that are seen as normal. So if they could get offended for themselves, they would not be for others, because this is how things are. A lot of double standards, but that is what everyday sexism is all about, in the end.

As you can see, I also say that I am MOSTLY proud of my feminism. This is because I, most of the time, prefer to call myself an “equalist” : I’m not searching to get women on a higher position than men (which feminism is absolutely not about, but I’ll get to it) but for everyone to be equal. Thus, I’ll call on everyone’s bullshit, as sexism goes both ways: society, may it be from men or women and FOR men or women, gives everyone very high unattainable standards. A man has to be viril, not wear any pink, be clear shaven or have a real beard, have a big penis and big muscles to protect women or whatever, never, ever, wear a dress, and so on. Women have to have big breasts and a nice butt, to be fragile and beautiful, to have absolutely no hair anywhere (contrary to men, where more bodyhair the better… or none at all to see the beauuuuutifil muscles!), and so on. No really, sexism goes both ways, just like anything that ends in -ism.
So, the ‘mostly’ comes from the bad image of feminism. The people, that I personnaly call “femi-nazis” that seem to not want EQUALITY between sexes, but the superiority of women, are my arch-enemies. They send a bad image of the feminist movement, and, most of the time, make ridicule demands, like, for example in Switzerland, asking the government that they put for every phrase the masculine AND feminine version, in the SAME phrase, because why not, and fuck language that was like that for thousand of years just to make it easier, let’s make it more complicated and so that the texts are unreadable! And why doesn’t the little guy on the sign to say if you have to cross or stay at the crosswalk have a dress, why is it a man, we want women on these signs (because of course, the fact that women all wear dresses and men all wear pants isn’t sexist at ALL). No but really, this is getting just laughable and ridicule. And this is what most people think of when you talk about feminism.

But if you recall, my very dear friend NsL that I mentioned earlier has written on her blog a post about feminism too, saying she had done her “coming out” as feminist. So, the heck, I’m doing the same: let’s get back to the roots of feminism and stop to say that I’m an equalist. And just remember: everyone can be a feminist, may it be men, women or anything in between or apart. Because this is all about having equal rights between genders, whatever you think your gender is.

And this is also a part of feminism, or at leat, of actual feminism: not making a distinction between genders, basically means abolishing completely the CONCEPT of genders. Not putting anyone in little boxes saying “You are this because you have a penis” or “You are that because you have breasts”. If you think you are a woman, want to be a woman, even if you have a male body, I don’t care: you can be a woman, no problem! If you think that you are nothing, something in between or whatever, be it! You are a man and want to wear dresses? Sure! And it’s not because I look at you on the road that I am judging you badly. I may be surprised, but never shoked. It’s something that you don’t see everyday (and thus “not normal”, as this does not mean that you are a monster, but just that you don’t see it everyday, so not in your sense of normality. But this is a totally other subject)  but it is not something that I would go against. You are not doing anything against me, that harms me. So I basically do not care.
Abolishing the concept of genders, also means abolishing all differences between gender and different treatments. May it be of the salary for a same job, for the remarks you get from other people, or the expectation anyone may have of you. Like wanting to have kids and love little babies if you are a woman, or love cars if you are a man. (And sorry for any other gender, I don’t know any stereotypes for you guys, but as the stereotyoe is that there exists only two genders, it doesn’t really matter, does it?).

So… that’s it I believe! If you have any questions, just ask, I’ll answer you in the comments, and, sometimes, add it to the article.
Have a nice week, and see you in a week… I hope!

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Let’s take another try…

Hullo there!
It’s been more than a year since I posted here, but I figured I should post a bit more! I’m not sure I could post once a day, but I hope for once a week!
So expect more from me!

 
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Posted by on 01/10/2013 in Uncategorized

 

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My meeting with Nobody’s Listening

I have to say that my meeting with Nobody’s Listening was quite something, and furthermore, it was something I do not want to forget. We did already plan this meeting for almost a year, saying I would come to North-West France, at her faculty home, to meet her in person. It has also almost been a year that I was chatting with her online, meeting her on a French Linkin Park Fans Forum, getting pretty rapidly along with her.

You could say, that she became quite an internet friend.

Sure, there were other people I met on this forum, promises were made to meet each other, but in the end (it doesn’t really matter… oups sorry), these promises were never held, because people went angry with each other, or we didn’t talk together again. But with NsL (yep, abbreviation), it never happened.

So, to the meeting itself !

At first, I was supposed to come by plane, flown by my father, and arrive at 12. In the end (again), there was too much fog, so we had to depart at 12, and I would arrive at 16. Even if I was a bit annoyed of this sudden change of schedule (like I’m always annoyed by the change of schedules), NsL admitted she preferred it like this : she wouldn’t have to run everywhere in her short lunch time to get to the airport (as she didn’t really know how to go there) and could just pick me up at my parents hotel, as I was arriving at 16 and she finished her lessons around 17:30.

So, once she finished her lessons, she came to my parents hotel, and I have to say, that it was a bit confusing. First, because we also had this problem before, she couldn’t seem to find the hotel’s entrance. In fact, the “advertisement” for the hotel wasn’t exactly where the hotel WAS. Thus, you has to go around the corner of the street to find the entrance. So when she sent me a message saying “Hey ! I’m here !”, I answered : “Nope! You’re not!”.
Finally, I thought about the possibility of her being also fooled by this stupid advertisement, and turned around the corner, anxious to not recognize her.

Truth is, NsL doesn’t like her pictures to be displayed on the Internet, neither her name (this is why I’m using her pseudonym…) and this is why I was afraid not to recognize her, as I only saw her picture two times. And people in real life are often different to their pictures, as of fake smiles, or grimaces.
I wasn’t even sure SHE would recognize me. Even if you can find thousand of my pictures on my facebook, as I said, in real life, it is hard to recognize people.

But I saw her first, looking around, a bit lost, asking herself where the hell this entrance could be. I saw here turning around, sighing a bit. At that time, I was with my sister, and as I was watching her, seeing her sighing, looking around her, I knew it was her. I even told my sister “Hey ! That’s her ! “. I also noted her Emily Autumn sweater, of which I loved the design, and then went towards her. When we were near enough, I do believe she recognized me to, as she came to me. I recall I was smiling, but I wouldn’t be able to tell you what her reaction was.

Anyway, once I did my sister’s introduction to NsL and introduces NsL (with her real name, obviously) to my sister, I parted from her and went with NsL to take the bus, to get to her infamous “Cité-U” – the faculty dormitory she was living in. In the bus, we talked a bit. In fact, it was pretty much all that we did this Friday evening: talking about her boyfriend, my boyfriend, people we didn’t talk to anymore and that we both know, throwing eggs on Shin’s house, that we were going to eat the “Galette Brotonne” on Sunday and sushi on Saturday. We talked also about the training she had to go through in the week that was coming, and how I would get to go home. At that time, we still thought that I would have to take the bus to the airport alone, as she had to go to her training two hours BEFORE me having to take the bus. We tld herself I just would have to go to the Quick or the McDonald’s, as it would be quite the only thing opened on Easter Monday!

Anyway.
We didn’t do a lot this Friday night, apart from talking about stuff and planning my stay at her place. We wanted to go shopping on Saturday, and visit everything on Sunday, which seemed to be a good plan, but later on, it fell to pieces; but this you will understand later. So I went to sleep, quite early in fact, as poor NsL had an exam the next day (a Saturday morning!) and had to wake up early.

Next morning, waking up far too early for me, we ate breakfast, and she then ent to her exam. Myself having a mid-term after my holidays, I decided to study a bit, for the three hours of NsL exam where I would be alone in her room. Finally, I could barely study, as my laptop didn’t have enough battery enough, and I had no adapter to go with the French outlet, my charger being, as you may guess, Swiss. I closed my laptop then, choosing to buy an adapter on the afternoon, and going for a nap instead. It didn’t take long, as NsL came back from her Japanese exam 20 minutes later, saying “Oh well, I see that you bare studying quite hard!” in a jokingly matter. I just smiled telling her I had no adapter, and well, no more battery.

This said, we went too go buy something to eat for lunch, and for the next evening, as we had planed to eat sushi that night (we already did the reservation the night before) and a galette on lunch Sunday. Once this bought, we went back to her room, ate risotto (instant risotto from Uncle Ben’s I might add!) and went for our shopping tour in town.

First thing we did? Go to the fnac, buy my adapter, and she bought two CD’s, one being eths new CD, having a wonderful cover of Madonna’s “Music”. This cover, we listened to it, late on, more then ten times, and it followed me in my head for most of the time afterward. I have to say, this cover is brilliant, as much as the rest of the album.
We also went to buy a present for my best friend, and for NsL’s mother, and went in different places. As I was staying in France (even if not in NsL’s room) the whole week after, I didn’t want to buy too much. Stupid of me, as in the end, we didn’t stay, with my family, in France. But this I didn’t know at that time.

She brought me to different place: a smoothie bar, a Japanime shop, a strange “here-you-can-find-everything” shop and things like this. It was very entertaining, and we talked a lot, but once it was 7 o’clock, we got tired, and even if our reservation at the sushi bar was thirty minutes later, we still went there to eat.

And I have to say: it was delicious! I was very happy to eat sushi again, wanting to eat some since two weeks ago, but no one wanting to go with me! I also have to say that EVERYTHING is more expensive in Switzerland, even sushi, so I was quite happy to be in France, seeing NsL amused to see me say every damn second: “Everything is so cheaaaaaaaaap!”. She even laughed about it with her boyfriend per mail, both finding quite amusing of calling me “the Swiss”.

Anyway, once our Doryaki finished, we got home by bus, talking a lot about thing and others. I recall one of our conversations being over how, even if Swiss people (or the romand part of them at least) talk French, there are expressions that differ from the French’s french and the Swiss’ french! We laughed a bit about it., but I believe we had this discussion on the morning or the afternoon, and not on the evening.

So, here we come to Sunday! I’ll tell you that this is the day on which we did the least of things. In fact, after eating a galette and then a crêpe Bretonne as dessert, NsL started to have a ocular migraine, and it also started to rain! So much for me taking pictures and visiting the city and parks!
We then decided to just go back to her room, letting her take and aspirin for her migraine and just watch a film and episodes of Dead Like Me, which is a TV show I really love, and she loves too!

Thus, as I said, we didn’t do a lot except this, and talking of course. It seems as if the most we did on this week-end was just talk about everything and anything and laugh at lolcats and their cuteness (I am meltiiiiiiiing! – Live lung and prospurr!).

Anyway, on Sunday evening, my sister send me a message, telling me they could not come back to fetch me, but I had to take the train to a city/village near where I was, on nine in the morning, to go to where they were staying. Why? Because of the weather of course!
Having a little plane, it is not possible for us to take off if there is fog, or too much clouds. We have to stand humble, as to not take risks, and just wait if there is bad weather. In short, it means we can not beat nature. Human seems insignificant in the clouds, even if in an armor of metal.

As you may understand, this was quite annoying, as much for NsL as for myself. Myself, because it disturbed my schedule, but also brought problems upon Nsl, and NsL… Well, she had to wake up earlier just for me, and then wait for an hour in the city, doing nothing, hoping the McDonald’s would be open on Easter Monday. And we also had a problem with the buses to get to the train station, as Easter Monday is holiday for almost everyone, and there aren’t as much public transport on that day. So we had to wake up far too early for our own good.

And there we were: Easter Monday. The beginning of NsL’s training and the end of my stay with her. I have to say I was quite sad to go, but as she said “In this little of a room, if you stayed much longer, you would rapidly get annoyed by the lack of vital space!” and she was quite right. So even if we didn’t talk a lot this morning, being both tired, we still gave each other a hug, telling goodbye before me entering the train that would bring me home (even if in the end we didn’t depart from the little village, because as my father feared, we were blocked for the next three days in North-West France because of the bad Northern weather.), far away from friendly NsL.

Now, after this short stay, I came to several conclusions.
First of all, even if you don’t “really” know people you are talking to on the Internet, there is no problem about meeting in real life and getting along. This is why it is absolutely stupid to believe a friendship – or any other relationship – may be, in all cases, fake. In fact, some friendships can become even more real then any friendship you would have in your everyday life, and thus even more precious.

Next, North-West France has terrible weather, and it’s not just a myth. Really people, I start believing that this trip was made just to prove me that.

And last, but not least, as I already believed before, NsL is a wonderful, adorable and kind person. I really loved to hang out with her, and I found my week-end to be the most entertaining! I already knew her as a great Internet pal, and a great and beautiful writer, but now I know her as a person, as I said, someone adorable, kind and very open-minded. Truth is, I already thought of her as an admirable person, but now, I KNOW she is. It is really a good feeling.

If you are a bit curious about who NsL is, and how well she writes, and if you know a bit of French, don’t hesitate to check out her website [here]. Really you should!

 
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Posted by on 11/04/2012 in My IRL

 

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Donating blood and stuff

Last week, for the first time, I gave my blood.

As an O Rh-, when I learned about genetics and how important blood is (I already knew that blood was the most precious liquid in our body, but I didn’t realize yet MY blood could be precious for someone ELSE), and the fact that I, as of being of group O-, was a general donor, I became aware that I could do important things in my life.Such as saving lives, just by giving a little bit of myself.

I think giving you blood is a great cause, and I could only encourage anyone to do this. But I also know that sometimes, you just can’t do this. For example, people with a fear of blood or with a fear of needles would ave big problems giving their blood like I did. There are also those who would want to give their blood, like my sister, but can’t because they are sick (my sister has Crohn’s disease, and the doctors aren’t sure if it could be transmitted in blood or not).

Giving my blood also made me think about things, like how I could improve other people’s life.

I can say that I am a committed person, in the way that I’ll easily commit to anything that I think is right. Such as helping animals, humans, environment, politics, and so on. Giving my blood may seem little to a lot of people, but for me it is a large step. Yes, I have been part of an association to help build schools in Haiti after the Earthquake, and yes, I still help them every so often. But for me, it wasn’t real. I wasn’t doing anything material. This was all abstract and far away. But las Tuesday, I finally could give material help to someone. I finally could give something to someone, even if i don’t know this person and probably never will. And this person will never know me as anything else then a bag of blood that will came in his body.

But at least I helped this person.

I suppose that the next step will be to join the list for blood platelet in three month, when the university hospital will come back here, so that I might give a bit more for myself and help a bit more of people.

And here I am, feeling a bit more important than before and hoping for a better world.

 
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Posted by on 26/03/2012 in My IRL

 

Thoughts about Film Stars

I have to tell you that I think about a lot of things when I’m in the process of waking up. And yes, it IS a process, even more so, when you have to wake up at 6:00 AM, to get to college. Even more so when you have to take a bus, then a train, and then a tram. And most of the time, I think about absolutely stupid and irrelevant things while listening to music. And today, while eating breakfast, while in the bus, and while in the train, I thought about film stars.

And there, I was thinking: why is it, and how comes that, some big stars, that had huge success in a film (or even a series for all I care) could not succeed anymore afterwards, but some others do?
Then the answer struck me: it’s because, the role they played, that made them become famous, was very often the only role they had, that showed them on screen, and gave them some credits as actors.

Let’s give you some examples. The very best one I could find, is Star Wars (and there, I don’t mean episode I to III, but the real “old” ones). Harrison Ford in the role of Han Solo already had a carrier before and while being in Star Wars. What I mean is, he shot in many films that had international success, while he was shooting Star Wars, like Blade Runner and Apocalypse Now. This showed that he could play another role than the iconic role of Han Solo. He was seen as a “legitimate” actor from the public.
And what about Carrie Fisher (beautiful Princess Leia) and Mark Hamill (Luke Skywalker, duh…)? Well Mark did not shoot any film that got international recognition before, nor while shooting Star wars. Thus, he stayed (and is still seen) as Luke Skywalker. And only as such. Contrary to Harrison Ford, he could not get rid of the character he was playing. He was stuck in his role as an icon, as an object of a film. Thus he was not recognized as an actor from the public, but as a unique character. And as for Carrie Fisher, even if she was the sex symbol of a whole generation and had a lot of presence as film star, she did not shoot any major international film afterwards (by this I mean: she never had the main role in them, and often went unnoticed to most eyes). Because she didn’t shoot any significant film before. Not as a side character.

Let’s give another example. Here, we could see it as a counter example, but in fact, it just shows how hard it is for an actor that got famous really fast with an iconic character, and this internationally, to get out of the public’s mind that he is this character. That it is his unique role.
Do you know who I am talking about? Well yes, Leonardo DiCaprio. He got famous internationally as the poor romantic boy of Titanic. And how many year did it take him, after Titanic, to build up a real carrier? To not end as just a guest star in TV shows and films? Yup, 2003. I would even say that he got recognized as an actor, and not only more as a young trendy boy, when he shot Blood Diamond, in 2007. Titanic had been out in 1998. Thus, it took him almost 10 years to get out of this stereotype that was forged around him and his character of Jack Dawson, which permits him now to do some very psychological and really serious films like Inception, or the beautifully mind-wrecking Shutter Island.

There we had it. Long recovery, isn’t it? And why? Because he also didn’t have any secondary role before.
Same problem we will see with the golden trio of Harry Potter. These poor guys couldn’t even physically shoot films before, and even if they did, no one would recognize them now. So for us, they will stay for a long time Harry, Ron and Hermione. There again, they will have problems getting out of these iconic characters, that marked a whole generation!

A bit like what happened to the three (human) main characters of Star Wars, I predict we will have the same thing for the actors of Harry Potter. Rupert Grint will be forgotten, Emma Watson will become (and is already seen from the Internet community) as a sex symbol, and Daniel Radcliff will perhaps have a career.
Why do I believe that? Well Rupert Grint had no other projects while shooting Harry Potter, and even if he seems being on film project right now, I am not sure that these films will have international success. Whereas, Daniel Radcliff had appeared in a theater piece (which made a lot of fuss around him because he appeared naked in it) and has already made a film that has international advertising about it: The Women in Black. And for Emma Watson? Well, she is the “égérie” of Channel right now, but apart from that… she didn’t turn any major film either.

Now, let’s take a look on the oh-so-famous Edward… I mean Cedric… I mean Robert Pattinson. What will happen to him? He had a secondary role in Harry Potter as Cedric Diggory, which made so that he was internationally known, as a side character (and come on, who didn’t cry when he died as Cedric?). But then he took the role of Edward Cullen. There I have to say: he told himself he hates the book and the story, but still, it makes him one of the most male actors of all time. And I’m really serious there. But he proved most people he could do better than this bad choice in playing in Remember Me and Water for Elephants. And seriously, he isn’t a bad actor. He just didn’t do the right choice at this period of time.
So, where’s the problem? There it is: Edward Cullen is a character that sticks to him. It wouldn’t be that terrible if, like Harrison Ford, several iconic character sticked to him, like Indiana Jones AND Han Solo. But there he is seen as the fairy vampire Edward Cullen. And this is really bad, because he isn’t bad of an actor.

But I do believe he will still shoot a lot of films, that will have international success, and not because all the Edward fangirls are all about him, but because he is an good actor. And perhaps he will be able to get out of this character, eventually. But first, we’ll have to wait for these stupid twilight series to end for poor Pattinson to be able to prove to everyone that he really just isn’t only a good pale sparkly face.

So, my point is, if you did have immediately, in a international success film, a main character role: you have less chance as an actor to get other roles, and to be seen as something other as your character. Even so more if it become an icon! But, if you had the chance to have several appearances as an important side character beforehand in other films that had some actual international success, you will more likely be recognized as a full time actor, even if some of your iconic characters you played may still stick to your skin, when the public watches you play.

But in the end, nothing is impossible with hard work, even if it’s harder, and it’s true that it’s better to jump on the first occasion, even if it does not allow you later on to have a big career, than letting your chance slip and having nothing at all.

 
 

Watching Tennis

Two year ago, I was still playing tennis. Two little years ago, I wanted to play twice as much as I was playing at that time. Two years ago, I hurt my wrist. This was when I had to stop playing tennis. Since then, I am unable to play, simply because my wrists hurts, ten to fifteen minutes after beginning to play.

Sure, I have touched the racket and ball since then, tried to play again, but since months ago, I gave up on the idea of playing ever again. Until today.

I didn’t play today, nor did I have a racket in hand, but I watched some women play. And there, I had once again this heartache, aching to play again.
My parents don’t understand, even less my mother. Why, if I love this sport so much, did I definitely stop playing it once hurt? Why don’t I try again now? Perhaps the injury was healed? They do not understand, that each time I have a racket in hand, I fear the moment when the pain in my wrist is going to come. Each time I hit a ball, I’m asking myself, if the next one, I will put it out or in the net, because my wrist began to hurt, and I am unable to correctly hold the racket anymore. Because even if I would love to continue to play, even if it hurts, I physically can’t hold the racket. Because of the pain in my wrist, my hand loses her strength

I have to say, in the beginning, it was nerve-breaking. I stubbornly wanted to continue, no matter what. When I just injured myself, I continued training until I couldn’t even hit balls without letting my racket out of my hand. I played matches, even if after three games, I couldn’t correctly hit anymore. This was just ridiculous and stubborn, and soon after, I went in an emotional breakdown.

I didn’t show it, but stopping playing tennis really was a hit on me. For me, my tennis club was sort of a second family, and I was feeling as if I was betraying them. Or just losing them, definitely. At that time, I also went through a tough time, losing some of my friends, being mostly alone at high school. I had a lot of emotional charge, and couldn’t find anything to vent it. Before I had my tennis lessons, the tennis club, but now I lost them.

Even now, when I go to the club, occasionally, I feel like a stranger. Some recognize me, ask me how I am going, how’s college and things, they are friendly to me, recognize me, but I just feel like a stranger. I do not belong there anymore. And sometimes, it hurts. So I avoid going there a maximum, even if sometimes, I can’t avoid it…

If I saw people pay today, it wasn’t because I watched TV, but because I went to a tournament, organized by my mother. Family obligation is to help, and I had to be sort of the photograph. And, the first day, yesterday, there were people playing, but not that good, so I didn’t really pay attention…
But today, there were the finals. And, damn, they really were playing well. I enjoyed so much looking at the balls going back and forth, and suddenly, I remembered all the emotions I had while playing myself. And then, there, it hurt. Just the day before I told my mother I didn’t want to play tennis, that I had give up. But here, today, I am not sure anymore.

I already brought my tennis things out of sight. I already was searching for another sport. I already thought I was over it. But I wasn’t.

And here I am, wondering what to do. Should I try again? See if my wrist still hurts? And if it does? Should I persevere? Or should I then give up? Or should I just forget about it, right now? I don’t know. And again, all these emotions come running back. and it hurts. Again.

 
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Posted by on 11/03/2012 in My IRL

 

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First Post, sort of Introduction

Hey people! So I figured I should be doing a sort of Introduction for this blog, or at least post a very first post before starting anything else, and I figured I should post something interesting, pleasant to read and full of wit.

But, here comes the problem: I really have nothing really interesting to say, and I surely am not full of wit. I’m surely kind of dumb and the things I say, ever really are only interesting for myself. But meh, whatever.

So if you really want to know something about me and about this blog, just check out the “Who is Nyo?” page. This post really won’t be anything good.

Oh, and something else I must say: I may not update this blog every day, but just ever so often when I have something to say, may it be serious or totally silly. And for people who know me in real life, it might seem strange that I am not posting every day something, as I am always talking. But hey, writing is serious business! Don’t underestimate what a blog can do!

So here is the very first post. I wish all of the people who read this a nice day, and perhaps, see you soon?

 
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Posted by on 09/03/2012 in Uncategorized

 
 
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